Incidentally conceived in China, raised in Singapore, Wayne Wang-Jie Lim is an art practitioner working and living in Amsterdam. Since 2009, he had exhibited and presented in shows at various venues, from the Institute of Contemporary Arts Singapore (ICAS), Centre for Contemporary Art Singapore (CCA), to the Singapore Art Museum. He was awarded the Winston Oh Travel Research Award in 2013 for a research in Hong Kong, a writer-in-residence at maumau Art Space in Istanbul, Turkey in 2015 and most recently part of a research-residency project co-funded by the Creative Europe Program of the EU, called “Understanding Territoriality” at Cittadellarte-Fondazione Pistoletto in Biella, Italy.
He is currently pursuing his MA at the Dutch Art Institute as a recipient of the Non-EU scholarship grant from ArtEZ Institute of the Arts. His current inquiry focuses on geopolitics, language, philosophy and history in relation to art and hence, experiments with formats that are not the conventional, such as, travelogues, thinking and the writerly.
During his BA studies, Wayne was drafted into the army for mandatory military service that brought a two-year halt to his “practice” — he practically made/produced nothing, and participated in a few minor exhibitions for which he only showed old works he had done in school. Instead, he read a lot, and in retrospect, “prepared” for his final year after his obligatory service ended. This was the first time he questioned what an “artistic practice” meant.
When he returned to finish his degree, he could no longer make art in the way he used to, and his production shifted to a focus on researching and writing, making strategic plans on practicing at the fringe of what can be called “art” before spending only a short couple months at actually producing the “artworks”. Though a national arts body has funded his projects and exhibitions, he is not recognized officially as an artist under the institutions’ national framework of what constitutes artistic practice. This simultaneously “insider / outsider” state has further led him to his current research.
As Wayne begins his hiatus, he will also be working towards his graduate degree, where his thesis-research explores the notion of “non-position/location”. He feels that this timing will prompt him to really ask himself how he could “nourish” himself and re-strategize his artistic practice in order to benefit from the artworld’s infrastructure/institutions but not be subsumed into the wider agenda of neoliberalism and nationalistic rhetoric as a contemporary art producer or a cultural and knowledge producer. He hopes to investigate alternative modes of art production with an ultimate goal of infiltrating the arts market from the peripherals while being completely non-positional and ambiguous. Or practically, what he has to do in order to survive as an artist in a way that will also afford him a comfortable living -- and not like a "poor artist".
During his residency at RFAOH, he primarily wants to spend time on brooding over the function of his “art” and his “practice”. He plans to use the stipend “for nourishment” by purchasing books and organizing a reading group, putting food on his table, paying for his website domain, buying a hashtag on his Instagram account, paying an exorbitant amount for a VIP ticket to an art fair to look at art-for-sale, etc. He also plans to routinely write and perhaps finally learn how to use Instagram to “market” his non-art/borderline art activities.
Final Report
What do I think about when I don't think? As I round up my last few beautiful days in the outskirts of Seoul before I have to head off to Beijing to reunite with my family for a well-deserved vacation, a defiant North Korean missile was fired at 6am this morning, and it landed in the sea not far from Hokkaido, Japan. While the US is conducting its 'regular’ — often unapologetic — military exercise with the South Koreans military, I am sitting here opening, closing, and reopening this report, contemplating — or even procrastinating — about I can possibly write.
“What am I doing here?”, is a question I routinely pose myself. I now wonder if my relentless pursuit of the never-ending “here’s” is perhaps too disruptive. In the same vein, I can’t seem to know where I want to be; except knowing where I do not want to be. It’s an excuse I sometimes use to cover up my escapism. On a different note, while noting the political context of the Korean Peninsula (or the nature of conflicts), I have been rethinking the difference between presence and occupation. It questions not just the essentialism of identity and place — if not nationalism, and the rhetorics of the nationstate — how else and what other ways to justify the existence of being/the conception of statehood. Where is the “inside” and/or the “outside”?
A year ago, I applied mainly with the intention to understand my own practice, and perhaps to find a “direction in my life”, in regards to being simultaneously, an "insider" and an "outsider" of where I come from. The combination of my trajectory at the Dutch Art Institute and RFAOH have certainly pushed my practice into a more theoretical, and political direction/place. With that in mind, it is, therefore, important to think, and employ strategies that bring about higher agency in one's (artistic) practice. Although my initial research premise relating to my thesis have changed — from a "non-position/location" to the "hyperrestrained order" — it nevertheless helped me to understand better my position or role (and even the escapism), and my relationship with the state (Singapore), that changes from being a citizen, a soldier, to an "artist" (as an occupation). I have seen this process as a crucial development — as a theoretical inquiry, and the understanding of the previous — in relation to my art practice. During my hiatus, I have learnt to bring research-traveling-writing to the forefront of my practice — not entirely inclined to the notion of producing artworks as the 'only' way of art-making. Ironically, I believe this journey — of art and life — will/can never truly be on a “hiatus”. If one is practicing life (thinking about Tehching Hsieh's talk), can we say or consider art as the medium of life, while life never stops, and art nourishes life?
The “here” now is post-hiatus. I am excited about what Beijing can I offer me, as well as what I can learn from this potential move. “Post-hiatus” is, so to speak, actually getting over an ex-lover, and confronting some fears I had the past couple years; anxieties and insecurities, where I don’t just ask myself the purpose of my existence at a physical location. It is about living through it, making decisions even if I won’t be liking it, whether its on life, art or love.
Oh #DAI it’s been a blast! #lifeafterDAIbegins #byebyearnhem #partytilldaylight #notartresidency #notart #wayneonhiatus #rfaoh
So, I’ve officially graduated — party’s over. It is “back to reality”. Although I do have projects lined up until December, I need to bear in mind the 5-digit debt I racked up over the past two years which I need to start repaying from 2018.
I have been feeling rather shitty the past days and frankly not quite sure how to think about it. It is the end of an era and I am exiting Europe. I am upset about whether I will ever get see some people and my DAI colleagues whom I have gotten so close to the last couple years.
Other than the graduation, today is also the last day of my hiatus. Unfortunately, I feel extremely exhausted to go on (writing, or thinking), having just returned to Amsterdam again, and just generally tired of not knowing what I am feeling; from graduating, leaving people behind, or moving away.
I apologize for my ineloquence, and my terrible articulation but I am going to bed now. It’s 5 minutes to midnight, and Amsterdam is raining.
Hi Shinobu, you're right! Thanks for reminding me about the positive things! And, I am so glad we got to meet up in Venice. There will be a next time! :D
co-director(s) wrote on Jul 1:
Congratulations Wayne for finishing both school and RFAOH residency!!! (How ironic that is ;P) You know you WILL see all those you got close to in the future knowing your jet-setter self; just remember we managed to meet up, which, who'd have imagined?? We'll so miss you here but for sure keep in touch. Have a good sleep and when you wake us, oh my goodness, you are not "on hiatus" anymore! Go crazy and make/do so much art!! (;
moonfarmers’ first residents
As hoped for, we had friends come to stay and help eats plums,
each eating at least their two dozen quota of plums per day.
And since they are both sustainable farming researchers,
their assistance far surpassed plums:
they’ve devised a low-tech gravity pump to access water from our well,
designed a low-cost, low-tech solar hot water system on our bedroom roof,
and brainstormed a dam system for the inlet of our canal water system.
Nadine also planned and set-up an innovative composting dry toilet,
in which the waste is easily composted and returned to the soil,
ideally used for planting fruit trees on top of our hillside.
Felipe also offered suggestions to improve our composting process
(flipping more often, moister & with smaller pieces)
and while investigating our current compost piles,
discovered that several of the composted date pits,
from Mohamed’s grandfather’s trees, had sprouted,
so we transplanted those into containers.
While they’ve been brainstorming and testing out their ideas,
I’ve been in the kitchen, making two kinds of plum sauce and plum chutney,
and working a lot in the garden, mostly sowing seeds: catnip for Tuna,
more bi-color sweet corn, more pink-eyed peas and purple bush beans in the garden,
and scattering the crushed pods of our arugula hybrid as a “mulch” under the tomatoes.
And harvesting: all the remaining plums, lots of carrots, bush beans, tomatoes;
and lots of onions and handfuls of orange basil, lamb’s quarters, purslane, and sorrel,
which sautéed together made a tasty, citrusy topping for pasta.
I’ve also been harvesting more of the lemon cucumbers,
which are very mild and sweet, and slightly fruity,
lacking the compounds that make cucumbers difficult to digest,
and their fun, lemon-size makes them easy to add to salads.
During the recent Fruit/Seed transplanting times,
we got the nine remaining Käferbohnen into Horta Nova,
and transplanted one Napolitana fig into the hillside,
and two others into large flowerpots by the porch.
All the sweet corn and melon seeds from last Fruit time have sprouted,
and are receiving the TLC treatment until their spaces are ready in the old compost bin.
On the other side of the old bin, the loofah squash are doing great,
and have a few small looflets on their vines.
And finally an eggplant seed sprouted!
I think our nights might have been too cool until recently for germination.
Fortunately, we have a really long growing season.
Now that the plums have all been picked and either sauced or eaten,
our digestive systems are returning to normal again,
so we’re planning which other fruits we want in abundance:
figs, obviously, since we just got three more trees,
and a few more peaches and maybe a nectarine,
and apricots, since we just saved twelve organic pits,
and maracuja, since we scooped and saved dozens of their seeds,
though I’ll need to research how to sprout them.
Our seedling lemon and nespera (loquats) trees are nestled in the cold frame,
coming along nicely and slowly with several leaves of healthy growth.
During the end of July, there is a recommended time to plant fruit seeds,
so all these saved pots and seeds will await sowing until then.
Today is Marmalade’s last day of school until Fall,
and our first residents’ last day of their first residency;
so, as usual, we have a busy day planned ahead,
also, as usual, ending with an afternoon trip to the beach.
Last night swung from Fruit into Root time, so dinner was quite rooted:
Einkorn (an ancient wheat) rice with garden carrots, parsnips, onions, garlic and dill.
Since it is still a Root day today,
I just planted the remaining sweet potato sprouts into the garden.
And will be harvesting more onion flowers to make more infused sesame oil.
And plan to make more beet chips for a midday snack.
With moonfarmers we always hoped to host an artist residency
using the term “artist” broad enough to include
all sorts of designers, scientists, and other creatives
that want to further the mission of a sustainable future.
And eventually build some treehouses.
Right now residents are hosted in a spacious tent,
with most meal provided fresh from the garden.
Anybody else interested in joining the moonfarm,
please just let us know.
So if you can save a few pits from some nice plums, dry them out & bring them over,
I'm totally game to try to grow these special plums here!
My first trials of lemon trees & nespera (loquats) have been going nicely,
with two healthy seedlings for each.
& I'm super excited to increase the diversity of life growing here.
Indeed.
co-director (s) wrote on Jul 16:
The ones for umeboshi are rather different kind of plum (not sweet at all and we can never eat them raw) but maybe you could grow one at moonfarm?? It's good for so many things - we even eat the inside of the pits for the longevity so we are told (:
marisa wrote on Jul 8:
I can't wait for your residency here...
perhaps during the next plum season so I can learn how to make Ume-boshi.
And to play with all the bamboo that's laying around.
co-director (s) wrote on Jul 3:
That's so cool Marisa, that moonfarm already had the first residents! I wish I could come and exchange our "making" but "not artmaking" tips! I'm sure we'll have lots of those and have a blast (:
reorienting: part two
An unfavorable day yesterday gave me a chance to step back;
and reflect on the Springtime we’ve just had,
and the visitors that have come and gone,
and, among other things, I realized that I never completed my thoughts in the previous post.
Most noticeably, that in the garden, I am constantly being humbled,
by the successes of randomness that happen at the fringes of my garden.
It is humbling.
Humbling is a good thing,
especially when we learn from it.
And I hope to learn a lot from these expressions of growth:
the tomatillos that I carefully tended aren’t thriving as well as the one that grew
from a seed that found its way to the Earth through a tear in the seed packet,
and now stunningly growing at the edge of Horta Nova.
Indeed it must’ve been sown at its favorable Fruit time,
since I would only have the packet outside then.
And indeed it fortunately fell onto cultivated soil,
between a sunflower and a hokkaido squash plant.
And I left the seedling to grow because it looked friendly.
Undeterred, I will plant more tomatillos tomorrow during the Fruit trine,
to see if I can encourage more to reach their full potential.
Also humbling (& delicious!) is the experimental flowerpot
that was filled with the soil from unsprouted seed cups.
Although growing in an overcrowded space with limited soil,
these bush beans have grown larger, lusher, and more bountiful than their garden rivals.
The tomato is twice as large as any of its relatives in the garden,
and the dill is just incredible.
Funny, I’ve tried numerous times to grow dill,
but the seeds’ requirements have proved daunting.
Luckily, some of our compost was chock-full of dill seeds,
that seem to sprout and thrive wherever they are planted:
with the lettuce, in the artichoke patch, in with a blueberry,
next to the loofahs, and even in flowerpots of morning glories.
Sure, seed sprouting is a miracle of chance,
and every seed will not survive, no matter where its sown, and when;
and I have no idea how many accidental seedings didn’t sprout.
But for those that do, the plants are incredible.
Awe-inspiring, even; for I am in awe.
And I am inspired:
to save the seeds from these mammoth dill plants,
hoping that they will thrive here like their parents.
Unexpectedly, I’ve really gotten into seed-saving,
allowing many of the best garden plants to go to seed.
Sure, to observe their process and harvest the seeds for future crops,
but mostly to honor their purpose in their life…
why they sprouted in the first place.
Speaking of sprouting,
my arugula-kale cross-breeding experiment is showing great promise:
several green rosettes have sprouted in the garden,
not quite arugula, not quite kale,
but an edible tender green when cooked,
growing underneath and around the tomatoes
and thriving in the heat of the summer season
when the arugula and kale don’t do so well.
I have been hulling tons of these seeds,
half a jar from the arugula parents
and half a jar from the kale plants;
enough for continuous cultivation forever.
The morning glories grown from our seeds are incredibly vibrant,
more so than others planted from purchased or gathered seeds,
and more colorful, lush and plentiful than their parent plants
from a windowsill patch from Marmalade’s room in Austria.
Reorientation is about adapting
to whatever gets thrown at you.
The rouge tomatillo and volunteer dill reminded me of this lesson.
That life is about surviving, and adapting, in order to thrive.
And our morning glories are just sprouting right now -- I've been in our mini-petite yard a lot too (and been meaning to send you some photos!) I'm trying to imagine how differently your farm now looks like from what we saw!!
reorientation: part one
New visitors are always disorienting,
partly because the trip here is disorienting for them,
(since we live off-the-map as much as off-the-grid)
and partly because I’ve always been a creature of habit,
and my habits shift to accommodate others’ schedules.
Yet our visitors provide a chance to step back,
and to explore new places in Portugal.
(& eat cheesecake! Let’s not forget the cheesecake!)
Through this I find my way from disoriented to reoriented;
as seeing our situation through these fresh eyes
brings a renewed sense of the endless possibilities.
And nothing brings me renewal like a swim in the ocean;
as floating adrift clears my head and refreshes my soul.
And the waves are incredible…
as in this video of the inside of a wave
from Praia Vale dos Homnes last weekend.
Like much of the Northern hemisphere,
we’ve recently had an atypical heat wave,
which forced most of our garden plants
to reorient as well, if they are to survive.
And most things did.
Horta Nova is coming along great.
All the plants are alive and doing well:
the sunflowers are all abloom,
and so are the first of the beans.
The strawberry popcorn are knee-high,
and the hokkaido squashes are all lush.
And in the rest of the yard, things are blooming incredibly:
especially the squashes and sunflowers,
and the morning glories from my own seeds;
and others are growing exponentially:
especially all the watermelons;
while others are ripening swiftly:
such as the first of the lemon cucumbers,
and the insane number of plums from our two trees,
and the yellow bush beans, and the first few tomatoes.
So I made a small bean, parsnip, and tomato salad,
adding lots of the orange basil to the garden salad.
And falling into Root time, I also made a potato salad,
with some garden potatoes, green onion, and dill.
Harvesting out some of the Spring crops has made room in the garden,
so there is room for new life, with new plant neighbors,
and a reorienting of their relationships.
I’ve already planted some violet bush beans in with the wild thyme,
and a few dozen pink-eyed cowpeas in between the seeding spinach.
And I’ve started twenty-two honey and cream bicolor sweet corn seeds,
and some heirloom eggplants and cantaloupes in yogurt cups,
hoping to transplant them soon after their sprouting
to take advantage of the space and the weather.
(Thanks to my mom for bringing a new selection of warm-season seeds!)
Before we depart Root time,
I picked more parsnips and carrots for soups.
And hulled the French breakfast radish seeds,
as they’ve dried and are ready for storage.
And now I’m brainstorming what to make with all the plums,
besides plum sauce, plum chutney, and Pflaumenküchen.
Unfortunately they aren’t freestone;
so pitting them all will be challenging,
and I can only eat two dozen a day out of hand.
During Fruit time we harvested five big bowls of them,
and the trees are still loaded with fruit.
So, anyone interested in coming over to eat plums?
Plums dry nicely! Blanch them, slip the skins off, trim the four sides around and dehydrate the sections. You can also do fruit leather 'bars' if you cook them to pulp then dehydrate. You may know this but just in case - when I've had clingstone fruit before I found if I cut around the core and then twisted the two halves, one came free and I could dig the pit out with a grapefruit spoon easily.
We've also made 'spirited' plums, preserved them in syrup in mason jars and topped them with brandy.
co-director (s) wrote on Jun 27:
This past week, we've made "Ume-shu", the Japanese plum liquor and also prepared the first stage of pickling the plums to make Ume-boshi (not with our own though - I'm so jealous of you!!) For us, June is the Ume (Japanese plum)-work month during the rainy season -- it's an ancient thing that the Japanese rainy season is even written as "plum rain" in Chinese character! 「梅雨」
On Hiathus
I’m currently on a long hiatus initially due to issues in resolving art and now having trouble at my work place and there’s just so much drama I have to deal with. Hopefully it will end sooner or later so I can get back to my art practice. I might be slow on posting since I didn’t have that much interesting things going on in my life currently, so I really do apologize for being so late. I hope you do understand and I hope that I haven’t upset anyone.
I have never specifically talked about it, so nobody really knows the exact reasons for my hiatuses. One can make reasonable assumptions based on a number of things, including statements I have made and not putting up posts regarding my art work for quite a long period of time on my artist blog. It’s been probably my full time job for some 2 years and i mentioned in multiple sources that i have little to no social life because I work all day, sleep all night, and spends basically all of my time in searching a way out. I literally have no time to go to exhibitions and meet people because of my work schedule. If i maintained this kind of work life for a few years, it’s pretty easy to see how i could get burned out and decide to start taking some time off to just relax and do something that involves art. I took hiatuses so that i can have a relatively normal life outside of art world. And at this point in your career, you seem to be able to basically do whatever you want in regards to when you works and for how long. I really think we artists just need to take vacations sometimes. But now at times I think that I should get back to art work now.
There is also reasonable debate as to whether they’re even hiatuses. What people think is we’re really dealing with is breaks in exhibitions, which can happen for a variety of reasons. Again, it’s all speculation. Some of it is reasonably believable, some not. But we have no official statements so it’s hard to say who’s right and who’s not
The best part of hiatus is that its an open ended concept. Its like a non-declaration declaration. I quit but I'm also not completely quitting. Its a limbo space of perpetual possibility. Integrating art life with life life, is it a matter of perspective? or a matter of remaining in that perpetual open void where possibilities happen along the path of least resistance. We've enjoyed your participation with us Ramla - never upset :)
June 20
June 20
It’s my birthday!
I’m turning 40 (well, according to my Mom I turned 40 at 5:19 this morning! 😛 )
I’ve been finding this whole year coming up to 40 to be a very reflective experience.
I posted on facebook some time ago about the fact that I’m starting to feel the ‘hump’:
I’ve lived out of my parents’ house longer than I lived there.
I’ve been in a relationship with Peter half my life.
I’ve lived in Alberta 19 years, a year shy of as long as I lived in Newfoundland.
I graduated high school 22 years ago. My BFA 17 years ago.
I have towels older than my former babysitter and she’s now in University.
I’ve been married as long as our current babysitter has been alive.
The clothes and music from my childhood and adolescence are now vintage/ classic and coming back into fashion.
When my Mom was 40, I was 15, and my brothers were 16 and 18.
And so on.
It feels weird.
Time has warped – logically, when I sit down and catalogue events, obviously significant amounts of time have passed, you don’t get degrees, have family, and jobs without time moving forward.
But emotionally the truth is – I don’t feel ‘how did I get this old’ because I don’t feel old. I still feel like a teenager with all the possibilities of the universe spread out in front of me (and sometimes with the same poor judgement of said teenagers.) But I don’t feel ‘adult’ or like life has somehow become a predictable routine. I can’t connect with the idea that, statistically, half my life is behind me (in Canada female life expectancy at birth averages 83 years).
I often wonder if being an ‘adult’, in control and having all your $#!+ together, is some myth that gets heaped on kids. Peter and I are admittedly more prone to inexplicable happenings than many people (maybe we have poor karma?!)
For example:
Peter, as a passenger, has been in 12 major car accidents – as in “car flips over, spins, and is hit by an oncoming vehicle” type accidents. And he’s had two cars totaled – while parked. One was run over by a garbage truck and another had an SUV jump a curb (in a parking lot!) and land on top of it.
For me it’s paperwork. I have a saying “if there’s a piece of red tape within a 5-mile radius I will be hanging from it by noon.” My first student loan was sent to the wrong province, to a school I’d never heard of. My master’s application, mysteriously, got split in two and sent to different departments, so both thought I had incomplete applications. I showed up to an artists’ residency that was by application, and though I’d gotten an acceptance letter, the coordinator had never heard of me.
These are just drops in the bucket.
Friends have poo-pooed me saying that these things happen to everyone but it’s the sheer accumulation over time that makes me question the chances.
But really. Are there people who have everything together? ….I don’t know whether to hope for or against that.
I used to make a point of never working on my birthday, it was a day for ‘twacking’ (which is Newfoundland-ese). It was for having lunch out, window shopping, a few pints, and just generally appreciating all the possible joy of having a totally easy-going day. It was awesome. As I’ve said, I have anxiety – it was probably the one day of the year I wasn’t stressed on some level about getting somewhere, or meeting a deadline.
The last few years I’ve had work-work that had to get done, and so I worked. I’m working this year too. Maybe next year I’ll twack.
If I knew where I wasn't supposed to be, I wouldn't go!! :-P If you've got some idea of how I can be forewarned, I'd love to hear it! Lol.
co-director (s) wrote on Jun 21:
Happy (fairly) big Birthday Lee! (: Twack on, all year!
I think it's the matter of what is "everything" and also, we should keep showing up to the places we're not supposed to according to some arbitrary rules, don't you think (;
Seeing My Life in Packages: Prelude of a Burnout
I’m feeling it, yes — the burnout. It’s coming I know. I probably have never felt this busy my entire life. I have been sleeping lesser, and even dreaming about what I would present for the DAI. Fortunately, now that thesis is near completed and my presentation is half-done, with my belongings in boxes going to Seoul, Beijing and Singapore piling up in the room I am about to vacate, I am starting to feel the burnout — literally feeling both fearful and excited about upcoming projects.
I have a week in the Netherlands after graduating from the DAI to do whatever else I want to. Besides that, I need to prepare for a presentation in Switzerland at Arc Residency for my collaboration Demasculinization, with André Chapatte. After which, I take off from Geneva to Seoul and will spend 6 weeks there for a research until September 1, when I head off to Beijing for yet another 8-week residency. I am particularly thrilled about my trip to China because it will be the first time I spend such a long time there to not only research, and also meet my family there for a holiday. Other than that, I also scheduled to meet a couple friends along my journey to the south of China before culminating with a presentation at the Institute for Provocation in Beijing. Then, finally, I will get to be in Singapore for (I think) two days before I take off for Indonesia, for the two biennales in Jakarta and Yogyakarta and the opening of MACAN.
I’m taking a break from work to write this but I really want July to come. At the moment, I’m just thinking when the full-on burnout will come. It will come, I know. And, time stops for no one…
The silk worm butterflies emerged from their cocoons;
and apparently set to work laying their little yellow eggs.
We really like their cool, wispy antennas,
which resemble their mulberry leaves .
There are a ton of butterflies flittering around our yard,
which makes my morning watering routine very colorful.
I’ve also enjoyed watching our tadpoles grow large,
as our population of frogs steadily increases.
Most of the tadpoles are in the white plastic tub,
(fitting, since it was once Marmalade’s bathtub);
occasionally they get sucked into the watering can during refilling,
and those have been relocated to the pond.
I wonder if they consider it some kind of alien abduction.
We have dozens of junior frogs that hang all around the pond,
probably some of the tadpoles we moved over in the late winter.
We have more frogs’ eggs on both the pond and the plastic tub,
so this cycle will be continuing for awhile.
Speaking of the circle of life,
we’ve had a bunch of cool-looking beetles doing their thing.
Odd that each species has its chosen plant to mate on,
and throughout the yard, they tend to stick to that one plant.
Here’s some cool mask-like beetles on the mustard,
and these orange and black ones near the pond,
up on a wildflower stalk that overhangs the water lily,
which has begun blooming again. Woo-hoo!
Here’s Tuna hanging out next to the pond, too.
He follows me around in the mornings when I’m doing my watering rounds.
In other news, we got the the blueberry bush planted with its friends
(in the hole that was used for our bbq last week)
and the three cranberries transplanted near the pond.
Also, on a whim, we bought a dark olive tree,
so that joins the other olives up on the hillside.
Our pomegranate tree is blooming again,
while a few more buds await their turn.
Otherwise, all the other trees have finished blossoming,
and some have fruits ripening in the sunshine.
And the gooseberry and golden raspberries
give us a few ripened berries each morning.
Now that I’ve sampled a few of their amber fruits,
I must say that I’m a huge fan of the golden razzies,
and plan to plant more next Spring to fill in the area.
I’m always excited during Flower times;
there is always the glow of growth to inspire us to keep gardening.
In particular, the roses have been splendid.
And the sunflowers…
So full of bees,
We love watching the progression of buds to blossoms to seeds.
And the miniature blossoms
(& miniature cucumbers)
on the Mexican cucumbers.
The first of the garlic and onion bulbs are blooming;
some we’ve eaten unopened as scapes,
some I’ve immersed to flavor sesame oil,
and others I’m allowing to blossom,
to feed the pollinators while I watch their progression,
as I’m very curious to grow out their seeds.
Since it’s now Fruit time,
I picked a bunch of the tart cherries that are ripening
(& getting devoured by birds) on two trees downhill.
I’ve never baked with tart cherries,
so I might explore recipes for ratios and inspiration,
and plan to make a sweetened fruit glaze for a cheesecake
(because I’ve been craving cheesecake for over a month now).
And during this Fruit time, I’ve been weeding Horta Nova, which is growing nicely.
Meanwhile, Marmalade has taken over the artistic efforts of our house,
redecorating our sofa, and walls, and carpet with her unique vision.
Isn't it so telling about our world -- I always learned/understood silkworm adults as silkworm "moths".
co-director (m) wrote on Jun 13:
Marisa your pictures are beautiful. And Marmalade has discovered her inner Cy Twombly - also beautiful!
June 8
June 5
I started this post May 16, but it’s been slowly percolating the past ten months.
And just as slow in the writing.
It’s getting to be crunch time.
My hiatus ends June 30 and I’ve given myself until then to decide what’s next:
Do I ‘quit’ art? Sell off the majority of my supplies and turn the studio into a bedroom for my youngest?
Do I stay on unofficial hiatus and make things as the mood/time allows, without attempting to promote myself or maintain a professional status?
Do I recommit myself to the whole endeavour, buckle down, and make more work, set up a web page, get back into grants, shows, etc?
This hiatus has been eye opening in so many ways. My overall stress is way down despite various personal emergencies this year. I had an epiphany this week that attempting to ‘produce for sale’ was part of what was blocking me and making me avoid the studio. Since being on hiatus I’ve at least been playing with making things, regaining some of my happiness. I sketched this week for no other reason than to pass the time! I’ve also been using my artist facebook page more too, for sending out RFAOH posts. A definite step towards self-promotion.
I was asking a colleague who has a business degree about what would be involved in setting up a business goal plan for the upcoming year. I was surprised she suggested including personal goals as well as business ones. Her belief (as I understood it) is that as artists/mothers/business people/… we need to look at balancing our personal goals/needs with business and professional goals. Her suggestion was writing down what I want in each area over the next year with specific details (do a 5K in less than 1h 45m, earn 10+k in art sales….) then look at how each is possible, and if they can be done simultaneously with all my other commitments (jobs, parenting, partnering). This would then be the framework for planning.
Pros and Cons:
1) Quitting has its appeal, the idea of selling off supplies and walking away seems very clean. A new blank slate.
But I’ve spent a lot of time and money getting supplies to have on hand for whatever I feel like making. It feels wasteful-anxious-embarrassing-dumb to ditch it all (even if I get some/most of the money back). I think that’s what minimalists talk about when they discuss why people end up with so much more stuff than they need. Really the minimum I need is my watercolour kit and papers. The rest of my supplies I just like, the colours, the tactility, are soothing.
Again, it may be that I have hoarding tendencies. Meh.
The idea of the boys not sharing a room also has appeal – they both like company to sleep, so together seemed reasonable. But they keep each other awake, so it’s not so awesome for sleeping. BUT it is super sweet to hear Arthur reading stories to Edward …even at 9:30 at night…
2) Staying on hiatus is actually the least appealing option.
It feels like being indecisive. Whether I choose to commit or not is still up in the air but I hate feeling wishy-washy. Suck it up, make a decision, and march on. I acknowledge this is pretty black and white thinking and may not be appropriate to this situation, which is why I’ve kept staying on hiatus as an option. I need to talk this through with a couple people as sounding boards to establish whether I’m being too rigid.
3) Recommitting is scary.
I remember how I was feeling last year and am really not sure I want to risk going back to that state. BUT with the distance I have now I feel like I would approach being an artist-businessperson very differently. Firstly, I can write ‘businessperson’ without feeling as if it’s somehow antithetical to being an artist. Secondly, I feel I can make art and sell it without falling into the trap of grinding out things I don’t like, just for sale. Third, accepting that my art can be dealt with in a more organized and professional manner, while still being exploratory and fulfilling, is another big step forward. It’s the way other lifegoals are going to be achieved.
When I wrote that all I need are my watercolours – that was unconscious and it was an eye-opening moment for me, it took several days of processing on its own.
For various reasons, decluttering, family age/stage, etc we’ve been contemplating moving – movers charge by weight, so the less you take the less it costs – so I’ve been looking at everything in our house with an eye to “if we were to move next week/month/year what are the things I would feel had to come with us.”
Not that I’d be sad to see go, there’s lots more of that!
But it’s surprising to me to realize what I feel is essential and it’s not always what I might have anticipated (or what Peter would think either). When I went through our first floor, there was only the rocking chair where I nursed my boys, our kitchen table, and SOME of my china (surprisingly not all of it, even though it is all sentimental or heirloom). I’d be loath to give up the piano, but if push came to shove, I’d leave it. So basically 3 (admittedly large) items and a box. In our room (other than the quilts my mother has made us) I bet I could get everything I want into a large suitcase and bankers’ box.
Can you be an unsentimental hoarder?? Dunno.
While all this bubbles in the back of my head, we’re enjoying the beginnings of summer – our windows are open every night now, the night temperatures aren’t dipping much below 10 and daily highs are getting upwards of 25. There’s been enough rain so things are still green and fresh. The brown scorched earth will set in between the end of June and mid-July. I cut the pieces for a summer pajama set – now I just have to find time to sew it. We’ve been camping, and to our local “historic village”, Heritage Park, twice already. The park is fifty-odd acres in the middle of the city where we can let the kids run and roam without being terrified of crazy drivers. Between the walking, the stream train, and the 100+ year old amusement rides, it’s got everything a parent could want. The kids are pretty keen on it as well. 🙂 The boys have soccer and we’ve been practicing passing the ball around. Edward would rather be a robot scanning the ball than kicking it but he’s four so he gets indulged. Arthur is getting quite good, maybe next year we’ll put him in a ‘real league’ rather than Timbits (a low-competition, once a week league).
…Though that’s a 3x per week commitment from the parents and I’m not sure we’re up for that… I’m so confused by parents who manage to have their kids in things every night of the week. The top of my head would pop off. We barely keep everything running with the kids in piano and 6-weeks of soccer. I think the house would implode from the weight of laundry and sticky little boy grime if we took on more.
Random thought-memory. My instructor position is predicated on being a working artist, I’m not sure how strict they are on whether I could keep it if I quit. Hmmm, that will need to be figured in.
A friend has told me the school where I started my BFA (one of my favorite places in the world) is in the last stages of getting an MFA authorized. I’ve got two Master’s but because they aren’t MFAs I haven’t been successful getting art program jobs (there are other reasons like a discombobulated portfolio as well…) but I’ve been told that no MFA kills my chances regardless. SO…I’m thinking that when they open applications I might try that. It feels more than a little insane but I love teaching. I know that in the future I want that to be a big part of my work. So, if I want to get more employment, it’d have to be an MFA or an education degree. Either is at least two years. I could apply for an MFA in Calgary but the expense of living here and going to school is really prohibitive. Of course, how one pays for a degree without a job is a question for later. It was all so much simpler when I was in my 20’s without a fixed address or kids and with a student loan.
As always things ebb and flow and change on a dime.
:-) It definitely sounds like a fascinating talk.
With the idea of going for an MFA, S's situation is one that worries me. Getting the degree would take my chances from 0 to... the same as everyone else! Which is not a lot. So once again I'll have to weigh everything in balance and see what makes the most sense! :-P Story of life!
co-director (m) wrote on Jun 9:
I wish we had a recording of Tehching's panel discussion in Venice last month where the convergence of art and life was a topic to the point where separation between the two completely dissolved and now he's just "doing" life.
Wishing the best of luck on your dilemma Lee :) we know there are no wrong choices. For what its worth, I don't have an MFA either, co-director S has one though and still the teaching jobs elude her. And somehow the art just happens. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
rooting
I really like the weather on Root days;
often there’s a cool breeze with high clouds floating by.
It’s great for working in the garden.
During the super-favorable Root time
(due to a Root trine during the Root time)
I harvested the French breakfast radish seeds,
and dug up the first third of our potato patch.
That evening I made roasted potato and sweet potato wedges,
to have with a kohlrabi-carrot-apple salad
that I made earlier in the day
and ate by the spoonful
every time I walked by.
I started to root little eyes from the tops of two sweet potatoes,
hoping they sprout leaves and then can join the garden
over where the potatoes were just unearthed.
They are a prolific local crop here,
so here’s hoping they grow roots.
We’ve also been working on the outdoor kitchen area,
adding wooden steps/benches and more stones at the edges.
Day by day this place is getting a little bit nicer.
And a little greener.
I got four more berry bushes from Aldi:
three cranberries and a blueberry.
The cranberries will go down by the pond
next to the elderberry bush.
And the blueberry will join its friends on the hillside,
once we get a stubborn oak root out of its hole,
and Mohamed thought there’s no better way than with a barbecue.
It has been the weekend,
so I have been trying to relax a bit,
by blowing some bubbles
and actually sitting down,
which Tuna encourages by napping on my lap every time I do.
(Though admittedly, his naps don’t last long,
because it has been a super-favorable Root time,
& the carrots, beets & onions all needed weeding.)
As the first Monday of the new month,
we went to the mercado in São Teotónio.
I was hoping to find a guava tree,
since they had them last month
(& after doing some research
found that they grow well here),
but to no avail.
So we got a yellow kiwi vine,
to befriend our three green kiwis.
Since kiwis are not entirely cold-hardy,
I will simply repot it on the next Fruit time,
so that we can bring it and its friends inside on cold winter nights.
Next Spring, when they are all a bit larger and more durable,
we will plant them on the hillside outside the front door
(once we install some bamboo beams over the porch,
so that each may climb up its own support,
& provide shade & life at our entryway).
After school, we all went to the beach,
because it’s a fun way for Marmalade to unwind after school.
And for dinner tonight,
I made a grape and rosemary focaccia,
with the first trimmings of our garden rosemary,
(but not our ruin’s grapes, which won’t be ready for months)
to go with a garlic scape and potato barley soup,
with garden garlic scapes, potatoes, broccoli florets,
and lamb’s quarters, a wild edible I’m propagating in the garden.
So it seems fitting to hit the beach on these days:
collecting seawater for cooking pasta and soups,
collecting seaweed for homemade fertilizer tea,
gathering washed-up fishing ropes for woven carpets,
grabbing driftwood for the playhouse and outdoor shower,
and for swimming, of course.
Lots of swimming.
We love swimming.
And communing with the nautical nature,
including the various mollusks and crustaceans,
and checking in on the storks nesting cliffside.
Their little storklets are really visible when you’re out swimming,
yet less so from the shore where I felt safe using our camera.
Every time we are at the ocean
I think “we should do this more often” and yet, we do.
Since it’s gotten warm, we go about every other day.
Thank goodness. For these mini-vacations.
Because this Fruit time has been a doozy.
We got everything that was ready transplanted
into the Three Sisters Garden in Horta Nova:
29 strawberry popcorn seedlings,
26 hokkaido squash seedlings,
and nine Käferbohnen beans.
(Because of the scale of this project,
and the fact that it is now Ramadan,
we did most of this work under the moonlight,
pulling two very long nights in a row to get it in.
It reminded us of past sculptural projects,
up til stupid-o’clock in the morning
frantically trying to meet a deadline.)
Yet this was more relaxed, more serene,
more of a quiet spiritual time,
as each planting is a prayer, isn’t it?
Asking whoever to please watch over these seedlings.
The Three Sisters planting has always been a sacred planting,
as the Sisters: corn, squash and beans are held as sacred plants,
goddesses, if you will, that provide sustenance and life itself.
I also transplanted the nine chickpeas into the garden,
because I really love chickpeas, as the legume, yes, but also the plant.
The leaves are unique, the pods very sculptural, the peas so cool.
And I put the two watermelon seedlings in the agave hole near the pond,
and the three golden popcorn seedlings in with the tomatillos.
And although I thought I’d run out of time,
I also got the last two Mexican cucumbers
and four orange bell peppers into the garden.
And planted a few more bush beans,
as the first have begun flowering,
(& successive plantings ensure a longer harvest,
without being inundated with ripe produce all at once).
We also transplanted the three new golden raspberries
to fill in between the two we got at the mercado in April.
We ate the first golden raspberry in the morning while transplanting:
as promised, it is a sweeter, less tart, but very flavorful berry.
We’ve also been sampling the gooseberries,
as a few seem ripe each morning.
Delicious. Great flavor.
And their Portuguese name “Uva Crispa” makes sense
because “uva” are grapes and they really do seem like crisp grapes,
though they grow on a low, thorny bush,
that sends out low branches to reroot.
I accidentally unearthed one runner while weeding this Spring,
and potted it up, thinking to grow it and then gift to friends.
Now that I’ve tasted them,
I am eager to propagate more runners,
and establish a whole gooseberry patch.
But in the meantime,
I think we need a few days off from planting.
And as we have four days of Root time,
we will be taking that break from hole digging.
And harvesting the radish seeds.
And rooting sweet potato sprouts.
Yet Aldi has berry bushes on sale tomorrow morning,
so we might be bringing home more than groceries,
and have a few more holes to dig next week.
Wayne Lim wrote on Jul 1:
Hi Shinobu, you're right! Thanks for reminding me about the positive things! And, I am so glad we got to meet up in Venice. There will be a next time! :D
co-director(s) wrote on Jul 1:
Congratulations Wayne for finishing both school and RFAOH residency!!! (How ironic that is ;P) You know you WILL see all those you got close to in the future knowing your jet-setter self; just remember we managed to meet up, which, who'd have imagined?? We'll so miss you here but for sure keep in touch. Have a good sleep and when you wake us, oh my goodness, you are not "on hiatus" anymore! Go crazy and make/do so much art!! (;