I would first like to thank Shinobu and Matt for their incredible support - as I mentioned in my post, this residency period came at a time of personal and professional difficulty. I hadn't anticipated either, and Shinobu and Matt would gently guide me back on track with encouragement and reminders. That said, I am sorry I didn't participate as fully as I would have liked. But I appreciated the other artists in the residency, reading their posts and activities.
I started out with the intention of posting updates on reworking a curriculum, and that evolved into writing a new major for our college. I did wind up reaching my goal: the proposal and courses were submitted to our accreditors in August, and I'm still waiting to hear if it's approved. I'm weirdly OK either way - despite the hours spent, I was able to let it go quite soon afterwards. Now that I've had time to reflect, I can think of several things that probably aren't right and need to be reworked. I think, if nothing else, I should learn from this year I shouldn't sweat the little things.
The biggest thing I learned from this period of reflection: it made it clear that I desperately needed to get back to my work. As I looked back over the last three years, I became horrified that I allowed it to slip away - administrative duties, teaching, family all took priority over my work. While I know life ebbs and flows, it became intolerable to me, particularly in the last two months of the residency, that I haven't made anything of significance recently. No investigations, no research for myself, no experimenting. This really hit me the hardest when I started teaching a studio course this fall - I almost dropped out of the residency just to make something. I couldn't take it.
I'm back in the studio, but my idea of studio has changed. It's not a place - it's where/when/how I can make something. I can't set aside hours to work - not at this point in my life. So, I have to adapt. Right now, my studio is a canvas bag, which holds a capezio body suit, black thread, scissors and needles. I'm altering the suit through repetitive stitches, thinking with my hands. I discovered, to my delight, that TSA lets you take needles on airplanes (?) and recently, my studio and I went to San Francisco, where i enjoyed five hours of uninterrupted time, stitching, thinking, tying knots. I still am not sure why or what I'm doing. But I'm making, and I can't ask for more than that.
I think this residency helped me prioritize what I'm doing. I really had to think about why I've done what I've done - and how to change it. I thank you for the opportunity.
shinobu wrote on Aug 7:
Unlike many may imagine, being "officially" on-hiatus and asked to report on it is as challenging or demanding as trying to stay "off-hiatus" as an artist. Thus, it's worth the attention and deserves rewards but only those who are here truly know it!
Kelly wrote on Aug 5:
As Ive gotten off track in this residency (my goal had been to report on reconfiguring of a major, which morphed into writing a new one), I realize that when all is said and done, you just can't do everything. Not at once.
Georgia wrote on Jul 14:
I put pressure on myself too Kelly! You are not alone! :)
enrique wrote on Jul 8:
hi kelly! I agree with you, sometimes is better to let it go, give it space, or in other words, to wait for it to came back to you when it must come back to you. There is no point in stressing yourself at certain moments. And I'm sure it will get back when last expected ! Best wishes !!
shinobu wrote on Jul 3:
Let's ask Heather if teaching is art! ^^