14_0411 post 142
One thing that could prove to be an interest of RFAOH in my life lately: the notion of “doing something” with your life.
Being an ambitious (although lazy) person, I’ve struggled with this all of my adult life. Adoration, acknowledgement, fame + fortune, are excess, I found out a little while back. What’s important is the interior feeling of actually “doing something” worthwhile in my life. Lately, I’ve been questioning this notion even further.
Last night my girl had a breakdown. She didn’t feel like she has accomplished what she wanted to do in life. This is an irony, since like what I always tell her, her greatest quality that made me fell for her in the first place is that she didn’t give a damn about these worldly stuffs. She’s somewhat pure in my world, + I adore her for that quality. As long as she can support herself, + do what she wants to do (she’s a maker + shaker), she’ll continue feeling awesome. Those two things—life support + life itself—can be mutually exclusive. Diving deeper to this, we found out that no matter how ridiculous this stress was, she still could feel it’s there. It’s a by-product of looking at + buying the things people say on their Facebook status. A lot of them are boasts, telling the world that s/he just got this/that grants for this/that how much dollars to do this/that (better be solo) exhibition that is taking place in this/that gallery located in this/that cultural capital of the world. I told her she’s better than that. I thought she was beyond that. And she was, up until she started meeting these boasters either in person or online (I told her to go to some architects’ public events since I couldn’t be there myself, + the first reason I stopped hanging out with architects is because they are the worst in this kind of ego-boosting, therefore ego-crushing, games).
In a quite recent heated argument I had with my 1-year younger brother (who lives in the States with his family), he finished his arguments with the sentence, “being middle class, productive, and working are not something to be ashamed of.” My answer to that was those were the exact things to be critical about. Those notions are ideological constructions. The exact opposite of those are poor, parasitic, and unemployed, a.k.a. the groups society gives its consent to get rid of. Those are the reasons behind our prisons, hospitals, zoos, and mental wards. It’s a blatant violence, + we should look at a closer look of the notion of unproductivity as a political stance, but I must add—without falling to The Situationists’ trap.