Mary Kroetsch, Canada

Residency Period: 1 January 2015 - 30 June 2015


Bio

Mary Kroetsch works in a variety of media including sculpture, painting, and printmaking, but she has always been lured back to fibre and the stitch, which often appear in her mixed media work. Primarily self-taught, she has attended classes at New Brunswick Arts and Crafts College, George Brown College, the Toronto School Board's Art Centre, and the Stratford Festival of the Arts. She obtained Certification in Textile Surface Design from the Haliburton School of the Arts and completed the foundations accreditation for the Artists in the School Program sponsored by the Ontario Arts Council. As an active member of several professional organizations that support the Artist Community, Mary's works are part of private and public collections including St. Michaels Hospital in Toronto, Ontario, the Ilkley Museum in Yorkshire, England and the CAMAC Centre for Art and Technology in France.

URL: www.mary-kroetsch-textile-mixedmedia-artist.com


On-hiatus Proposal Summary

Mary admits that she has always turned to making art and let the creativity consume her when she rather needed to face difficult realities in life. Now with the fragile health of her partner, Mary's sense of responsibility to the preservation of the memories entrusted to her care has taken on a new urgency. Since her mother's death in 2007 she has protected but not brought herself to sift through the vast archive of clippings, announcements and photographs that make up her mother's diaries. During her residency at RFAOH, Mary will spend six months combing through the last 32 years of her mother's life in search of some kind of new guidance to move forward, figure out what comes next in her own life, and if there is still any reason to continue to make room for art.


Final Report

I needed a catalyst. Something to make me stop everything and concentrate. Concentrate on reading my Mother's words and looking at the physical memories she saved to remind herself that she had lived. The Hiatus residency was that catalyst. It is not so hard for me to not make art as my own process is labor intensive in both thought and deed, but to succeed in starting a project and seeing it through to its fruition, I need a deadline, even if it is only self imposed. I have never just been able to make something without a reason for doing so and a timeline is the best reason I know for making something I want to make. So the Hiatus residency gave me that timeline to do this task which I procrastinated on for so long.

While I didn't make art, art still remained important to my getting out of bed in the morning these six months. Morning walks had art projects creep into my head and I wrote those down for future reference. A short trip to Europe in April took me to 4 amazing exhibitions:

- Late Rembrandt - Rijksmuseum
- The Oasis of Matisse - Stedelijk Museum
- Chagall - Royal Museums of Fine Arts of Belgium (The best collection of his work I have ever seen.)

And I spent an afternoon exploring the Magritte Museum in Brussels which is 2500 square metres of works by Rene Magritte and his motley crew of surrealists. Highly recommend if you ever get the chance.

I connected with artists through books and videos - two that really moved me were Louise Bourgeois and her works in fabrics, and Carl Beam. There were many small excursions too - just looking and contemplating. And this book I bought in Amsterdam is fabulous - The Curator's Handbook by Adrian George.

I participated in a 6 session workshop called An Introduction to Art Therapy which was offered by an artist run space I am a member of. I was curious. Discovered that Art Therapy is not Art as Therapy - simply that it is a non-verbal communication tool that uses visual art making to encourage people deeply affected by trauma to talk it out. This experience made me realize that I practice Art as Therapy and look forward to starting up my practice again.

I went to the Naked Craft - Canada/Scotland Symposium over the last weekend of my hiatus. Very enjoyable with most presentations by Academics and Artists alike peeking my interest.

And I have to mention the major lawn making project in my backyard. I played in the dirt, weather permitting, pulling out each blade of grass, harvesting a hardy crop of weeds, and rototilling down 4 inches with my garden gloved hands. I truly enjoyed murdering the grubs - squishing each and everyone with just two fingers. I hope to have a lovely drought resistant pest repellent, weed free carpet of green by the end of the summer.

I know that my weekly ramblings did not lead to any kind of higher power of enlightenment that defines what it is to make or not make art, but I am so happy I found the Hiatus Residency and was able to participate. It opened a door for me that was keeping me from what I feared was a demon called truth, but demons can be slayed and now that the door is open I have the courage to heal past used and abused feelings and I believe I can face my future emotional challenges using art as my weapon. And I think my work will take on a new edgier look - dumping much of the sentimental kitch I have in the past pursued.

There were also a number of side effects that resulted from the residency mostly coming from the time between readings to do some other kinds of soul searching and evaluate where I have been in my art life and where I want to go. For example:

I have been accepted at the University of Guelph to start working on a degree in Art part-time in the Fall. A dream of mine to go to University one day and now that day has arrived.

I wanted to put my background in Adult Education to good use and have agreed to teach a series of printmaking courses with the Upper Grand District School Board's Continuing Education Department.

Ian and I are putting more energy into finding events that are cheap and cheerful and give us a reason to date again.

And I have come to recognize I need a me day once a week just to be a normal girl.

I did find the answer to my initial question of what to do with all these diaries and scrapbooks with this January 17th, 1984 diary entry:

"Mary gave me this new diary for Christmas. Maybe its silly doing all this writing. Told Mary to dispose of them if I die suddenly. They certainly would hold no interest for anyone - only help to assess my life on a daily basis and move on."

It was totally therapeutic for me to watch them disappear via the blue recycling bin, appropriately on the last day of my Residency. Old memories recycled into new and useful things - maybe beautiful journal pages for others to scribe upon.

And my last attempt to connect to a world outside of my art making - I love reading good stories of fiction and joined a local book club. I end my Hiatus with this quote from a book by Mary Swan called My Ghosts which is my answer to all the emotions I have endured during these 6 months:

"And it occurs to her, quite suddenly, that she can make the story end anyway she wants."


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recent comments

On Jul 8 2015, enrique commented on What I Learned!!!: felicidades mary !![...]

On Jul 1 2015, Mary Kroetsch commented on What I Learned!!!: Just wanted to say thank you to the both of you - Matt and Shinobu. I really needed this Hiatus. M[...]

On Jul 1 2015, Matt commented on What I Learned!!!: Thank you again for such a lovely project, Mary. Its been a beautiful tribute to your mom. Stay in[...]

On Jun 30 2015, Shinobu commented on What I Learned!!!: Mary, thank you for this lovely (to me, the best yet) report on your last day -- I'm sure there was [...]

On Jun 23 2015, Matt commented on 2006: Wow, that's right! Already 6 months past. I've really enjoyed this lovely project - all about marki[...]


From RFAOH Co-directors

Mary Kroetsch’s 6 month on-hiatus residency ended on June 30, 2015. We thank Mary for her participation as our 2nd round resident, and for sharing, through her steady reports, a rather personal on-hiatus activity.  RFAOH sincerely wishes her the best of luck in her post on-hiatus life, (hooray for going back to art school!) and hopes to hear from her once in a while.

Click “Final Report” to read on her experience at RFAOH.

Leave a Comment (0)

 


What I Learned!!!

Entries from the diaries that I will now take time to process:

“Maybe Mary will always be in crisis mode.”

” Ian and Mary need to build a new relationship.”

” Need some sparkle, some magic in my life.”

” Need to develop my passion.”

” The elixer of life at any age is contained in creativity.”

” Mary has real talent in this area.  Dispite all the diverse talent her real forte might be as a Curator.  Also the combination of writing and her aritstry is also high on the list.  The bottom line is she will succeed in whatever she sets her mind to.”

And this copied from an April 1977 article in Chatelaine Magazine:

” Sometimes you have to give up goals that you realize you just aren’t going to attain – to say ‘Okay that wasn’ty possible’, and define another set of goals;  to think, ‘What is withinin my capacity?’  What can I do?'”

Leave a Comment (4)

enrique wrote on Jul 8:

felicidades mary !!

Mary Kroetsch wrote on Jul 1:

Just wanted to say thank you to the both of you - Matt and Shinobu. I really needed this Hiatus. My final report is on its way to you. Cheers!

Matt wrote on Jul 1:

Thank you again for such a lovely project, Mary. Its been a beautiful tribute to your mom. Stay in touch! /m

Shinobu wrote on Jun 30:

Mary, thank you for this lovely (to me, the best yet) report on your last day -- I'm sure there was so much more "between reports" we've read. Such a great on-hiatus project and contribution to RFAOH. We'll miss you!!!!

 


2006

2006 was the last year of diary writing for Mom.  She had a very bad fall the first week of January 2007 and never recovered.

Every year she celebrated dates in her diaries.  They were all important to her.  She never forgot to say happy birthday to the important people in her life even after they had long passed themselves.

She missed my Dad so much that every year she recognized the date they met and had their first dance, the day they got engaged and all the anniversaries.  Dad always bought her a gift on St. Patrick’s Day.  And of course she missed him most on the anniversary of his death.

She recognized many deaths every year always adding a memory of the person when she thought of them at these times.

She recorded the day in spring she saw her first Robin every year.

When I turned over the last page of the last diary it was a surreal moment.  It got very quiet!

Leave a Comment (3)

Matt wrote on Jun 23:

Wow, that's right! Already 6 months past. I've really enjoyed this lovely project - all about marking down time. Thank you Mary.

milena kosec wrote on Jun 23:

All at once we are at the end.

shinobu wrote on Jun 23:

Oh my goodness, this IS your last week at RFAOH, I just realized -- I'm weepy, and also weepy imagining you turning over the last page of your mom's diary..

 


2005

This is new.  She started listings words and meanings like these:

Byzanitne – style of architecture between 5th and 6th century – rounded arches – dome.

Facade – front or visible part of anything – especially a building – designed to create a favorable impression

Frieze – 1 decorative hortizanotl strip running between cornice and architrave

            2 course woolen cloth with sahggy nap (card table cover)

I remember she did pass the Mensa Tests with flying colours and she enjoyed a good crossword puzzle.  And again she was an avid reader.  So I am guessing when she came across new words in her vocabluary she liked to ponder them.

Leave a Comment (3)

Mary wrote on Jun 22:

I am glad my musings are inspiring you Georgia. My Hiatus ends in 8 days, but I will check in from time to time to see how you are progressing with your restorations project which I am sure will generate many memories for you, both old and new.

Georgia wrote on Jun 16:

And clearly still figuring out how to navigate the comment section :)

Georgia wrote on Jun 16:

Finding a lot of inspiration in your posts Mary! Reflecting on memory and pondering words and architecture these are all things right up my alley at the moment- I'm finding much inspiration in your latest posts Mary.

 


2004

The strangest things fall from the pages.

Leave a Comment (2)

Mary wrote on Jun 15:

My journey has always been about chasing memories, seeking to recapture the lost time mentioned by Proust and living that memory again. I have even tried physically visiting places that have strong and vivid family memories for me, but as you said Enrique, my memories in those places are faded and have even become distorted. And the people who I thought shared that time with me remember it oh so differently. Maybe it is better to leave those old memories in that clear plastic bag and create new ones with the knowledge that they too will blur and be forgotten. Perhaps this is the real circle of life.

enrique wrote on Jun 11:

beautiful... last week I thought of you and your project instantly because my mother gave me a bunch of my childhood photos together with some old elementary school papers and other stuff, all of it unruly placed in a clear plastic bag, so I opened it and began to classify them, and we had some conversation about these docs - memories but it is difficult to understand what does it mean to remember something, it's always blurred or misunderstood, or it's totally forgotten, places, dates, people... so now I feel like doing something, although I do not know yet what... like Proust, at some point in our life, we feel like going "in search of lost time"... mmh... I will scan some of them and immerse myself in this strange mind voyage, un gran abrazo mary !!

 


2003

Here are 3 things my Dad use to say regularly. 

“Spring is sprung, the grass is riz, I wonder where the birdies is?”

“Wakey, Wakey, Wakey!  It’s daylight in the swamp.”

“Feet up, pat um on the po po.  Let’s make them laugh.”

Mom remembers these often in her pages.

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2002

This single page entry says a lot.

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2001

Every January 1st she reviewed and added to the list of promises she made to herself.

Leave a Comment (4)

shinobu wrote on May 25:

RFAOH WILL be recorded in print! It's our premise and goal -- no one (funding-wise) seems to care though, lol but we'll make it happen...

Mary Kroetsch wrote on May 24:

I agree with the lack of reality we have lost through the digital age. Unfortunately, the digital age is here to stay and growing stronger. This residency is another example of that. But as I continue to dig through my Mother's thoughts and memrabalia, I realize that many of my prized memories are really hers. I have been holding onto things that do not validate me in the relationship.

Matt wrote on May 23:

I think this analogue record your mother kept is very charming and quickly becoming from another era - so much of our lives are just recorded as digital data these days, we rarely print our snap shots or keep lists to return to a year later. -- Maybe Shinobu does :) -- its like we live in this post-artifact world. I wonder what will happen to the record of our own lives in 50 or 100 years when new, yet to be invented formats replace the current ones or data gets corrupted or lost. A set of goals or promises written is so much more concrete and binding. Lovely.

shinobu wrote on May 20:

Amazing, I'd have been dead myself out of disappointment or depression if I had to do this all these years!!

 


1999, 2000

Many day’s writing ended with quotes that inspired Mom.  Here are a few of my favorites:

“Goals are dreams with deadlines.”  Dianna S. Hunt

” I not only use all the brains I have, but all I can borrow.”  Woodrow Wilson

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”  Robert Brault

“Happiness is a very small desk and a very big waste basket.”  Robert Orden

“A good plan executed right now is far better than a perfect plan executed next week.”  George S. Patton

“Imagination is the true magic carpet.”  Norman Vincent Peele

“All healing is self-healing.”  Alber Schweitzer

“You have to learn to be independant of other peoples opinions of you.”  Wayne Dyer

“Memory is all we really own.”  Jim Coyle “

Leave a Comment (1)

Matt wrote on May 11:

All sage advice.

 


Scrapbooks

This is the perfect picture.  When my Mother was young and single, she and a girlfriend took a bus trip through out North America.  Look at that string of tickets!

Growing up I combed through her scrapbook on this trip and got the tourist bug.

This was not the only scrapbook she created.  In fact I have just spent these past few weeks reviewing them all – dating back to 1966. 

Every card, letter, theatre program and ticket, swizzle sticks from special coctail lounges, or menus from a favorite vistited restaurant was in these.  And then there were more photographs and tons of postcards.

Yep!  she was a memory saver!

Leave a Comment (1)

Heather wrote on May 4:

Mary, as an artist who constantly collects potential raw materials, I'm very interested in the fine line between saving things (including memories) and hoarding things. How sentiment mediates between these two possibilities. One of the most loving examples/endeavors I have ever seen play with this question is Elsewhere (http://www.goelsewhere.org/), an artists' residency within a giant "collection" of stuff belonging to its founder's grandmother. I think you would love it...

 

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